Birthday Blues

Every year, like many others, I get a little depressed around my birthday even though I know how good I have it. This year has been no different - been feeling a bit down the past week and a half. But, I just had a great time last night dancing till 4am at Melkweg, so I'm hopeful that the blues are gone and won't be around on my actual birthday tomorrow.

My birthday blues are in general irrational, so here's my attempt to reason my way out of them. I shouldn't feel old because I'm still safely in "young" territory (especially if you consider how young I look). I'll save the 30 freakout for when I'm 28 and 29. Crappy Feb. weather usually gets me down, but it's warmer in Amsterdam, and the days are longer. Proximity to Valentine's Day? True...as a single lady, Vday + my birthday in succession are a challenge. Add the fact that my ex is on vacation now with a new girl doesn't help. But being single feels good and is what I need right now. This is my first birthday since I turned 19 that I haven't been involved with someone. Oh, and my best guy friend has both asked me out for an e-drink tomorrow and is celebrating soft tacos today in my honor. What more could a girl need! Then, there's my need for attention even though I hate making a big deal out of my birthday - after all, it happens every year (though I should seriously be thankful because it means I'm still here). Well, tomorrow night, two girlfriends are making me dinner and then I'm having drinks with people. More than enough attention. Plus I have a friend visiting me next weekend and my parents the following!

I'm pretty convinced that I have every reason to feel nothing but happy and lucky right now (except that I have a paper to finish). And I'm in Amsterdam!