The Cost of Keeping Options Open

An interesting game devised by M.I.T. (click to play before reading on) shows the costs of keeping our options open irrationally. Considering how indecisive I am in most contexts, I imagine I suffer a huge loss for this characteristic. The most obvious loss is wasted time and energy thinking and analyzing the options. Whenever I am being decisive, I know I should make a decision and move on with my life, but I am just so worried about making the wrong decision no matter how inconsequential the decision is. Every major and too many minor decision that has come up in my life has led to a painstaking, annoying (for me and for my poor friends/family who have to listen to me), drawn-out decision between two equals - Harvard or Yale, Cleary or Simpson, etc. Luckily, I don't think I'm too indecisive in love matters. And also, once I do FINALLY make the decision, I rarely look back and am happy with the decision.

I'm going to Berlin in April with a few friends, and I currently have THREE hostel reservations open because I can't commit to any of them. Although there is no penalty for having them open (all allow you to cancel up to one day prior to arriving with no fee), I do think about this decision every couple of days and waste time by reading more reviews or going to their websites. So, in an effort to be more rational, I am going to cancel one of these reservations NOW (no promises when I'll narrow down just to one... let's not get crazy). Closing a door is so hard! I'm literally feeling pain.

(click here and here for the two Times articles on this topic)

Birthday Blues

Every year, like many others, I get a little depressed around my birthday even though I know how good I have it. This year has been no different - been feeling a bit down the past week and a half. But, I just had a great time last night dancing till 4am at Melkweg, so I'm hopeful that the blues are gone and won't be around on my actual birthday tomorrow.

My birthday blues are in general irrational, so here's my attempt to reason my way out of them. I shouldn't feel old because I'm still safely in "young" territory (especially if you consider how young I look). I'll save the 30 freakout for when I'm 28 and 29. Crappy Feb. weather usually gets me down, but it's warmer in Amsterdam, and the days are longer. Proximity to Valentine's Day? True...as a single lady, Vday + my birthday in succession are a challenge. Add the fact that my ex is on vacation now with a new girl doesn't help. But being single feels good and is what I need right now. This is my first birthday since I turned 19 that I haven't been involved with someone. Oh, and my best guy friend has both asked me out for an e-drink tomorrow and is celebrating soft tacos today in my honor. What more could a girl need! Then, there's my need for attention even though I hate making a big deal out of my birthday - after all, it happens every year (though I should seriously be thankful because it means I'm still here). Well, tomorrow night, two girlfriends are making me dinner and then I'm having drinks with people. More than enough attention. Plus I have a friend visiting me next weekend and my parents the following!

I'm pretty convinced that I have every reason to feel nothing but happy and lucky right now (except that I have a paper to finish). And I'm in Amsterdam!

Dutch Apple Pie

Apple pie is huge in the Netherlands. It is quite distinct from American apple pie. The filling is not as liquidy or gooey. The fruit is less cooked, and the Dutch preserve the natural tartness more than pie makers in the states. Raisins are also a popular ingredient - I'm not really a fan of that, but it's ok. I do prefer the Dutch crust - the one pictured above from Winkel (supposedly the best in town) in the Noordmarkt was crispy and delicious. I have seen whipped cream and ice cream served with the apple pie although only whipped cream was available at Winkel. I would go with ice cream especially since Dutch apple pie is less sweet.

I support the Democratic Party

These days, it seems like it's not ok to support BOTH Hillary and Obama. But if you're a Democrat, you should because remember, the point is to beat the Republicans in the general election. Both candidates would be great in the White House, and their policies are pretty much the same. I have made a choice between them. I want Hillary to win the nomination. That said, I like Obama too, admit that he may be more electable (since he doesn't face the unfair and unfortunate hatred that Hillary does, and yes, life isn't fair), and would support him as well. I'm wondering if it will it be possible for the Democratic Party to rally around the nominee regardless of who it is.

I understand that this is a competition between the two of them, but I agree with Paul Krugman that this whole process has become overly bitter and hateful. Krugman has identified a source of all of the animosity: Hillary has been subjected to "Clinton rules." (see column). As he explains in the column,

What’s particularly saddening is the way many Obama supporters seem happy with the application of “Clinton rules” — the term a number of observers use for the way pundits and some news organizations treat any action or statement by the Clintons, no matter how innocuous, as proof of evil intent.

Don't get me wrong. In general, I like low blows - they are funny, satisfying, and easy. They are a significant part of my friends' and my humor (one friend likes to keep a list of the best ones). So, I understand the temptation, and I admit to having engaged in them myself (despite liking both candidates!). But, I think it's best if we stop doing it within our own party.

I also found it interesting that Krugman thinks Obama's campaign is close to becoming a "cult of personality." I was just thinking the same thing last week - going a step further, it seems like supporting Obama is a religious endeavor. Perhaps this is another reason why it's Obama or nothing for some people.

My point is I like both candidates and would support both of them. And for the sake of our party, I hope that others will do the same when inevitably, Hillary or Obama loses the nomination.

Update 2/19 - A couple of Times articles of late have been discussing further the cult of personality and "civil religion" of Obama's campaign and diagnosing people with "Obama Comedown Syndrome," withdrawal from the drug hope offered by The Chosen One. I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking it's all slightly bizarre (of course, that's because I find religion bizarre).

Chang

Dutch banks shouldn't discriminate against people with the last name Chang.

I went in to ABN-Amro to open a bank account today. After filling out the papers, I was told I'd have to wait 3-4 days before I would hear whether I was approved. Reason: there was a criminal with my same last name. In response, I told the banker, there are 30 million Changs! It's not like I have the same first AND last name as this criminal. Shouldn't the criteria for a security check include something more than just a last name? Perhaps a nationality, gender, age, first name, etc.

Amsterdam - View from my window

I arrived in Amsterdam on the 31st, and it's been a whirlwind since then. I've been participating in an orientation program run by ISN (international student network), which is an org that helps foreign students get along in Amsterdam. They've kept us really busy with a walking tour of the city, workgroups, and lots of parties. It's been fun but rough on my jetlagged and very sick body. But it's been worth it! The view from my room is gorgeous. I'm amazingly lucky to have been placed in a dorm on Prinsengracht, which is probably the best neighborhood in Amsterdam.